So. Yesterday was a meltdown. I'm not going to deny it. But, sometimes meltdowns are needed in order to fix what's wrong and make things better.
Which is what happened yesterday.
I've been struggling hardcore with the expectations of what a wedding "should be" vs. what Josh and I want our wedding to be. People telling me I can't do certain things because it's not how things are done. And it was pissing me off. Like, acting like a five-year-old, digging in my heels, fine then we'll just elope kind of pissing me off.
And I don't wanna be pissed off like that. I don't want to elope. I want to celebrate with my family and friends. And Josh REALLY wants to celebrate with our family and friends. And I REALLY want Josh to have the wedding he deserves.
So. The meltdown. It was a good thing. Because after I came on here and had my little meltdown, I had a really good conversation with my future mother-in-law. She seems to really get what we're trying to accomplish with our wedding planning. And she said something that made me look at her like "wow, are you always this brilliant??"
She said we need to stop planning a "wedding" and instead, throw a party at which we'll get married. Brilliant, right? Because the word wedding has so many expectations that it's like, well if you're having a wedding, you need to do X, Y, and Z. But if you're throwing a party, you can pretty much do anything you want.
And cue weight lifting from my shoulders.
So we're boycotting weddings. We're throwing a party. And it's going to be amazing and fun and everything that our friends and family would expect from a party thrown by me and Josh.
And I'm breathing again.